I Believe

Have you ever wondered if God controls all the things that happen to us? Does He create the bad things, like cancer and catastrophic events? Or does He just use those events to shape and guide us, to bring us closer to Him?

I ask this question because sometimes I struggle with the why of it all. Why did Joe endure and survive cancer just to be taken away six years later at only 57 years old? Did he get cancer so he could renew and strengthen his relationship with God? It was no secret that we were distanced from Him at that point in our lives.

We weren’t church goers for the first 15 years of our married life. We were the CEOs of church (Christmas & Easter only). But we both were always believers. I was raised in the Catholic church and chose to step away from it in my early twenties. Joe was raised Baptist and just didn’t choose to go to church regularly. And even though we were raised in the church and had never lost our faith in God, when Joe was diagnosed with cancer everything changed. We knew we needed God to help us navigate this new and frightening world. It’s funny how facing your own (or your spouse’s) mortality wakes you up.

What we learned was we had needed Him all along.

My Joe always had a servant’s heart. That was one of the things I loved most about him. He was the guy you could count on no matter what. He would stop for a broken-down motorcyclist or a stranded woman on the highway, take food to the panhandlers, be the first in line to help a friend or family member, and he loved cooking for his favorite charity barbeque contest ZipperQ. His heart grew during cancer treatments, and he truly became the hands and feet of Jesus. After he passed away, the stories people told of how he had helped and inspired them were incredible. So many I had never met, so many he just met in passing. He was a warrior in every sense of the word. He never complained though he endured some of the worst chemotherapy and life-threatening surgeries. He gave it all to God and let it go. Had we not made the decision to get back to church when we did, I’m not sure what this journey would have looked like. Instead, our faith grew, our attitude was always positive, and Joe was able to set an example for other cancer patients and for anyone he crossed paths with.

So, did God give Joe cancer to prepare him for his call home? I don’t believe our God causes the bad things that happen to us, but I do believe He puts on our heart the path He wants us to follow, and sometimes it takes something devastating for us to listen. Romans 8:28 says “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” I do believe God made sure that cancer brought both of us back to Him.

Am I still struggling with the why of it all? I am. But I will rest in His Word and His timing.

There are so many songs about believing. Believing in god’s grace, His forgiveness, His promise. Here are a few of our favorites.