Lonely are the free

Do you know the difference between being alone and being lonely? If you are grieving the loss of your significant other I can guarantee you do. Life changes so drastically when the person you spend all of your time with, the person you wake up to and fall asleep with, the person you loved with every fiber of your being is no longer on this earth.

I spent the start of the weekend feeling pretty good about how far I had come. I don’t cry as much as I used to. The pieces of my heart have been duct taped and super glued so I can breathe and function. But then a memory comes along and breaks it all apart again, and I’m left to pick up the pieces alone. Because I’m the only one who can pick them up and put them back together. Well-intentioned friends and family try to help by offering to visit, bring food, take me out. And while those temporary distractions help in the moment, the brokenness is still there. The emptiness never goes away.

Ironically, my Joe introduced me to this song many years ago. And while I always thought Steve Earle was talking about wanderers and loners, I realize now he was talking about people like me too.

People who are trying so desperately to find their way without their heartbeat.