I’ve learned so much about myself in the last seven months. So much about grief, life, acceptance, and hope.

Yes, hope.

Death is the only thing in this life that is guaranteed. We will all die. But when it happens to someone in the prime of their life it’s so much harder to accept. Watching Joe beat cancer the way he did, I never imagined I would be here without him today. I know there are many out there right now in the same situation. There was no illness to prepare you, no warning signs to know it was coming. Just the shock of an enormous loss for you and your family.

I’m here to tell you that there is hope. There will be joy in your heart again.

You can’t see it happening from where you stand today, but it’s coming. But you have to do the work. You have to be open to the idea of being okay without your loved one. I know that is a big pill to swallow right now. There will be days when you won’t want to get out of bed. Days where you’ll keep the blinds drawn and speak to no one. Your heart will keep breaking over and over again, every time you hear a song, or encounter a smell, or see a picture of your person. You will fall into the space between…

But God is with you in this fire. And He’s got your loved one now, so why not let Him have all your burdens too? This song reminds us that He is always with us. He hears every prayer. He knows every hurt. Nothing stands between us.

I choose to find joy in every day now. Some days are harder than others, but I still choose to try. When I think of my Joe, I imagine he is just beyond the horizon. He’s enjoying a beer, visiting with his own fathers, playing a round of golf with my dad, or listening to Sinatra with my mom.

I talk to my husband all the time. What I’ve noticed is the conversation has evolved in the time since he died. I find myself telling him I’m okay now.

Because I am. And you will be too.