Firm foundation

These are my parents, Jim & Shirley. My parent’s love story is one for the ages.

Married for 67 years, they met in 1955. Both were serving in the United States Air Force in Texas. Mom worked in the post office on base and dad was in flight school. He stopped in to get his mail one day, stuck his head in mom’s window and said “hey, you look just like a girl I used to date”. Mom was not flattered by the compliment. She played hard to get, but dad was stubborn and committed to the chase. It took two weeks for her to finally agree to go out with him. Their first date was at an Italian restaurant. They were married six weeks later.

My parents had an amazing partnership. They complimented each other perfectly. After getting out of the service, dad was a traveling salesman for most of his career. Gone for a couple nights every week, mom held down the fort raising five kids. She was the quintessential stay-at-home mom. A fabulous hostess, she threw the best dinner parties for friends, was always baking cookies, being a homeroom mom, volunteering at church, driving us to sporting events and dance lessons. Dad did his part too, teaching all of us how to ride a bicycle, how to drive, offering sound advice for any life issue, and cheering us on in everything we did.

But they always found time for each other. They never lost that spark. Mom saved every card they ever gave each other, each with the sweetest notes inside. I remember watching them dance in the living room as a child to Frank Sinatra. They had date nights, dinner with friends, and sometimes they just snuggled up on the couch watching tv after all the kids were tucked in. I can count on one hand the times they argued in front of us, and only one time when mom actually packed a bag and left. She took the three youngest kids to a local motel for a few hours, only to return home, clean house, cook dinner and never tell dad about her little outing. We told dad years later to his amusement.

As they got older their relationship stayed strong. Dad pushed mom to stay active, while mom pushed dad to eat healthy. She lost that battle when it came to breakfast sausage and gin. They bowled leagues well into their eighties, and dad was an avid golf and tennis player. Dad remained the biggest flirt right until the end. He was such a gentleman too, always holding her hand, opening her door and pulling out her chair. But his sexual innuendos were legendary, much to the embarrassment of his children (mainly me). I remember visiting with my folks a while back. Mom was telling me about a friend that had to be moved to an assisted living facility while his wife is now in their home alone. That’s when they told me not to worry because they had it all planned. When they were ready to go, they were going to go together….in bed……naked. And guess who gets to find them? Yep, me! I think their sense of humor carried them through those 67 years. They didn’t die naked in bed together, but I’m certain dad is still chasing mom around up there. Hopefully she lets him catch her once in a while.

My parents loved each other unconditionally, and compensated for each other, so much so that we didn’t notice the extent of mom’s dementia until after dad passed away. We lost dad August 17th, 2022 after a battle with bladder cancer. Mom followed just eight months later, April 16, 2023, dying from dementia and a broken heart. And then my husband died just five short months later.

My parents raised all of us to be respectful of others, to believe in God, and to always lend a helping hand. They dedicated their time to Meals on Wheels for over 40 years. One of the biggest lessons I learned from my parents was how important true friends are. My parents had lifelong friends. They got together regularly; our families vacationed together in the summer; and we spent every Christmas Eve together when I was young. They all made it work through job changes, moves across the country, illness, and even the loss of children along the way. Today only a few of them remain. I imagine the rest being together on the other side listening to the Rat Pack, laughing, dancing, eating Marilyn’s famous clam dip, and waiting patiently for the others to arrive.

I owe my parents so much. They provided such a wonderful childhood for me and my siblings. They didn’t just teach me how to become a responsible adult in life. They taught me how to be truly happy, and how to love the people around me. And I think I got a few of my mom’s hostess skills and certainly my dad’s stubbornness. I was lucky to find that same kind of love, that same kind of relationship with Joe. I am hopeful to find a love like that again.

I will be forever grateful to God for giving them to me. I know I’ll see them again someday. In the meantime, I’m sure my Joe is cementing his place as the favorite son-in-law while he has them all to himself.

I love and miss them so much.