A safe place to land

I’ve been reflecting on the past a lot lately and thinking about all of the wonderful qualities my Joe had. We were friends before we were a couple. And a friend was exactly what I needed at that particular point in my life. Joe was so compassionate and the best listener I’d ever known. In those early days, we spent hours talking late into the night about everything. Thoughtful in his responses, he always offered advice that centered around my well-being.

After we got married his devotion grew exponentially. He was always concerned about me. He was a wonderful caretaker when I would get sick. But it was the normal days when he shined the most. Always asking before a store run if I needed anything, bringing a jacket into a restaurant knowing I would get cold, setting my car stereo on a particular song that would start playing when I would leave for work in the mornings, recognizing my anxiety levels before I even realized how anxious I was. He listened after a bad day at work or an exhausting day caring for my folks. He never complained. And after a stressful day, “just because” flowers and quiet evenings listening to music was his way of telling me “I see you and I’ve got you”.

Never once did he try to manipulate me or make me feel inadequate. He always had my back, even when I was wrong. And I was wrong a lot. I know I make it sound like he was a saint. Neither of us were. He had his moments just like all of us do. Moments when I would just roll my eyes and walk out of the room before I said too much. Moments where he would storm into the backyard to “build something” so he didn’t have to talk about it anymore. But those times were few and far between, and we always apologized, and then loved each other even more.

But his compassion never wavered. Even in the throes of cancer treatments he was only concerned about me, not himself.

During that time, I know he had conversations with those closest to us. Conversations about making sure I was taken care of should something happen to him. He never told me about those discussions, and thankfully no one had to follow through because he beat cancer.

But then, almost four years later, he died suddenly last September. And since then, those friends and family members he spoke to all those years ago have stepped up and honored his wishes. His legacy of being an amazing, compassionate human being continues through the hearts of his friends and family. I’m so appreciative, and I know Joe is beaming from heaven with pride in each of them.

From the moment I met him, Joe was the hand of a hopeful stranger. He became my light in the dark. To have that in your lifetime is such a gift. Believe me, I know how lucky I was to have that beautiful man of mine who always put me first.

He will forever be my safe place to land.