I wish you peace

I took another trip to Florida. A short one this time with my mother-in-law and Joe’s sisters. I showed them his favorite place on earth, New Smyrna Beach. After my trip in July, I was worried how this one would go. I didn’t find any peace last time. It was a struggle being there without my husband.

This trip was different. We had such a good time together shopping, eating, drinking, walking the beach, and just hanging out. We got one of Joe’s stones (www.partingstone.com) placed high up on a shelf in our favorite bar, and we each threw one into the Atlantic, committing him to the sea where he loved to be.

I am so grateful for this trip. It was truly healing. Peace found me.

And then today I was reminded just how unexpected grief can be. I was driving home from the grocery store. Gavin DeGraw was singing something to me through the car stereo. The sun was shining, and it was honestly a beautiful day. I turned a corner and there was the ambulance that was at my house a year ago, along with the same EMT’s that were on the floor shocking my beautiful man, trying to bring him back to life. Seeing them for just a second brought on a flashback that was so quick but so vivid. And then the tears welled up like puddles in my eyes, tears so big I had to pull over for a second. I immediately phoned a friend. So glad she answered.

It’s taken me a year, but I think I’ve finally got a handle on how to navigate my grief. Here’s a few things that work for me. Hopefully they can help you in your journey.

• Know that this will keep happening, forever. I’m okay with that. I never want to lose that connection to my Joe.
• Changing directions and doing something different helps shake the moment.
• When the tears just won’t stop, let them fall. Just keep doing whatever you were doing. Eventually they will stop. You might be a little dehydrated, but I promise they will stop.
• Have a few friends on speed dial that understand where you are and are willing to just listen.
• Read a devotional, take a walk, love on your pets before you go to bed each night. Put your phone down. Turn the tv off. Your brain needs to slow down so you can rest well.
• Peace is a priority. You cannot truly move forward without it.

“I wish you peace when times are hard
A light to guide you through the dark
And when storms are high, and your, your dreams are low
I wish you the strength to let love grow
Oh, I wish you the strength to let love flow”