Don’t let the moment pass you by

I was watching one of my all-time favorite movies over the weekend, “My Best Friend’s Wedding”, with Julie Roberts. The scene on the ferry, when Julianne and Michael almost profess their love for one another, gets me every time.

Michael’s fiancé Kimmy was right, “when you love someone you should say it right then, out loud”, or the moment just passes you by.

I was so very lucky. My late husband Joe had no problem telling me exactly how he felt. He was the first one to say it. I remember it like it was yesterday. He took my face in his hands, fixed those beautiful hazel eyes on mine and said, “I love you and I will never let you go.” And he didn’t.

Over the course of our 22 years together, we made it a point to always say “I love you” as we hung up the phone, walked out the door, in texts, and at the end of every day as we put our heads down to sleep, like most of you probably do. But even more importantly, we said it, and showed it, just because. It was normal for him to grab me, wrap his arms around me, kiss me on the forehead and tell me what was in his heart in the middle of the backyard as we worked on a project. He’d pull me on his lap in the living room just to hug me and say, “I love you”. On the motorcycle he’d reach back to pat my leg and catch my eye in the side mirror with a wink and a smile. And in later years, beating cancer played an even bigger role in how often we expressed our love. Thinking about all of that now makes my heart so happy. If I never hear those words from another man again, that’s okay. The love my Joe gave me will sustain me.

We live in a crazy world. We’re busy with careers, kids, sports, activities, pets. I could on and on. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of life and forget to tell your person that you love them. We tend to operate under the illusion that there is always going to be more time. But I can tell you from experience, sometimes there isn’t. I have no regrets when it comes to loving Joe. He left this earth knowing exactly how we felt about each other. We were lucky in that way. But don’t wait for a diagnosis, don’t wait for something to happen.

You have to love people where they are in the moment. And you must tell them. I mean really tell them. Sit them down, grab their faces, look in their eyes and say it. And if there is someone special you haven’t confessed your love to, do it now, before the moment passes you by. Afterall, no one knows how many moments we’ll be given.