Perfect storm

I took a little ride in an ambulance the other day. I was driving home from work and both of my arms suddenly became too heavy to even hold on to the steering wheel. My head was swimmy, like I might pass out. I drove straight to Urgent Care. They took my blood pressure (192/122) and very politely said “honey, we’re gonna call you an ambulance”.

Earlier that day a prominent young activist was killed while speaking on his own beliefs, expressing his own opinions. That came on the heels of the shooting of sitting representatives from Minnesota gunned down in their own homes a few months ago. Political assassination, attempted or otherwise, is nothing new. It is wrong on every level, but it isn’t new. What is new is our response.

Social media provides the outlet for us to verbalize not only our opinions but our outrage. But it’s no longer debate, it’s just pure hate. We point fingers, turn against each other, even celebrate these atrocities. Red points to blue, blue points to red. Tell me, when did we become nothing but republican or democrat? When did we stop being human beings?

I’m no history buff, but I’m pretty sure our founders created a system of government that is supposed to be neutral in religious matters, ensuring religious freedom for all. FOR ALL. Of course, for decades the government has managed to make so many issues religious, and the religious sect has managed to make so many issues government. The waters are so muddy now no one sees clearly.

What I do know is all of it has made me sad. Sad because people died. Not conservative activists, not liberal lawmakers. PEOPLE. Sad for that young man’s wife and children, sad for the family of the couple from Minnesota. And yes, sad for anyone taken from this earth by the hand of another person. Sad because now those families have to keep moving forward without their loved ones.

And I have a lot of experience with that.

I learned a lesson about myself this week. I am terrible at managing my stress. And I wasn’t aware of any news on my way home that evening. My Joe went into cardiac arrest two years ago this past Tuesday. I have been dreading this month for a while now and apparently was able to manifest a hypertensive crisis thanks to my anxiety about it. Good news is, after six hours, five blood draws, one urinalysis and a CT scan of my head I did not have a heart attack, stroke or brain bleed.

And then I went home and saw all the hate on my social media. I’m working on the anxiety, but now I’m just sad and disappointed in humanity.