Dear December

I’m writing to let you know you didn’t win this year. My third Christmas without my sweet man hasn’t brought me to my knees like it did last year or the year before. You thought you could break me with your jolly songs and holiday decor everywhere. Originally, I thought you would. I had no plans to decorate but I dug deep. And while there’s no Christmas tree, our eclectic Santa collection found its way to the living room.

You tried December, with that one week of frigid temperatures and no sunshine. You brought the stress with late packages and burnt peanut brittle. You tried to make me cry with OneDrive and Facebook memories. You pulled at my heartstrings with a marathon of “It’s A Wonderful Life”, our favorite Christmas movie. But I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I’ve found joy all month long, along with hot cocoa and fuzzy pjs to keep me warm. From baking cookies with friends, listening to live music, and having a house full of beautiful ladies for another holiday sleepover, your efforts fell short. I kept the tradition with my sister of “White Christmas” at the Circle Cinema and shopped for a few elderly angels from an Angel Tree. You can’t beat me.

You thought you could shatter my heart again. You piped all of Joe’s favorite holiday songs throughout every store I’ve been in. Literally, every single store. But I sang along this time. And even laughed out loud in the elevator over the weekend when “Christmas in Hollis” came on (one of his favorites).

So, dear December I just want you to know you weren’t victorious this year. And you aren’t going to be ever again! I’m done letting the holidays drag me down. My love for my Joe doesn’t lessen as the years go by. If anything, it grows. Missing him has become a part of me. A part I will never, ever lose. I’m finally finding that stage of grief I think they call acceptance. I accept that this is my life now, and I am so very grateful I had the love I did. So many never find that.

This heart is lighter and ready for whatever 2026 brings. I choose to “slow down, love deeper, and stay grateful for the small, ordinary moments”. There really are a million little things that make life grand.