1 in 8

The Mary K. Chapman Breast Center in Tulsa is a beautiful building. The interior has been fashioned after a serene day spa. From the front desk, technicians, radiologists and schedulers, everyone carries themselves with a calming grace. When you go in for screening mammograms, they escort you to a small room and give you a cape that snaps in the front, and you wait to be taken to the exam room where your girls are squeezed in every imaginable direction. And then you go home and wait for the pink letter in the mail.

Or, if you’re like me, a few days later you get a text message telling you it’s time to schedule your next procedure. Imagine my surprise considering I hadn’t heard from anyone about my results. Diagnostic mammogram. That was the procedure and today was the day. More magnified views of just the left boob thanks to calcifications that weren’t there before.

I arrived early. The doors to the left are for screenings. The doors to the right are for everyone else. The waiting room was busy but not overcrowded. When they called my name, I was led to a dressing room where the standard cape was put on, but a warm white robe was included. That was a nice treat since it was so cold in there. I sat quietly with five other women; all wrapped in the same warm white robes. Most of them were on their phones, LIVE with Kelly & Mark played quietly on the tv. They were interviewing Howie Mandel. A code blue was announced over the hospital loudspeaker; ‘Hellman Building, Room 205’. Beyond that, you could hear a pin drop in that room. Several ladies were ushered in, finished with their tests and headed back to get dressed.

At one point there were eight of us in that room. And that’s when it hit me. 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. Here I was. One of the eight. My anxiety had been high for the last five days. My anger elevated because my husband isn’t here anymore. Grief finds its way in when life throws you curveballs. Don’t get me wrong. My Joe wouldn’t have been at this appointment with me. I would have convinced him there was no need. I would have said “I’m fine by myself” and encouraged him to head to the gym for his regular workout. But today, today I’m pissed because I didn’t have that option.

I needed him to be on this earth today.

After the scans were done, I was taken back to the waiting room. The radiologist would review everything. Kelly & Mark were still on the tv, looking at the bargains of the day, which were apparently all make-up related. I work full-time so I never watch daytime tv. I appreciated the distraction but will say the breast cancer commercials were poorly timed. Maybe they should switch to a streaming platform with no commercials?

Two of the other ladies I sat with had also been brought back in to wait. I no longer thought about that breast cancer statistic. I wanted all of us to walk out of there with nothing else to worry about. The wait felt like an eternity, but I had only been there for an hour when the same technician came to get me. I knew they weren’t done with me yet. She took me to another room where the radiologist joined us. She explained that the calcifications needed to be biopsied. That was the only way to confirm if they were malignant or benign. She also suggested getting it done sooner rather than later. I called my sister from that tiny little waiting room. The tears were welling up, but her voice calmed my fears. She is a breast cancer survivor. Biopsy is scheduled for Friday.

If you read my blog, you know I missed last year’s mammogram. It wasn’t intentional, and I honestly thought I had done it. I write this to say, if you are due for your mammogram, please schedule it!

I will deal with whatever the outcome of my biopsy is. My faith is strong and I trust God will be with me on whatever path I have to walk. I have the most amazing people in my corner, and the most amazing angel watching over me as well. I did however yell at that angel all the way home for not being here. But as I pulled into the garage this song came on the radio. Message received babe. Message received.