Tag: Love
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What’s Up
Sometimes a song whispers what I’m thinking. And then sometimes a song screams it. This is THAT song. My Joe loved this song. Every time it came on, he’d sing along. I always laughed that he knew it. But he was open to all music, and for whatever reason this one spoke to him. This…
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Grief in a group
Well, I did it. I joined a new grief group, and my first meeting was tonight. It was held in a church across town. I was apprehensive because the last time I attempted this the meeting was at my parent’s old church and it was practically empty. Two of the three participants were in their…
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Just say I’m sorry
One of the crazy things about grief is that you circle back to everything you said, everything you laughed about, everything you fought about during your time together. Joe and I laughed ALOT. He always found a way to make me smile, even in the middle of an argument, which used to annoy the crap…
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Exhale
Well, I can’t explain it, but today was just a good day. And honestly, it’s so nice to have just a good day. No tears, no anxiety, no worries. Every time I thought of Joe, which was all the time, I smiled. I’m thankful for all the years we had together, I’m grateful for the…
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Glitter everywhere
I was cleaning out a closet the other day and came across a duffle bag that we have had for a very long time. We used it on short weekend trips when the packing was light, including the night we got married. When Joe & I were married we didn’t have a lot of money.…
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Easy come, hard go
As the year comes to a close, all I can do is keep moving forward. This grief still knocks me to my knees and makes it so hard to breathe. I’ll try to exhale all the stress and sadness 2023 ushered in and pray for the coming year to be filled with a peace that…
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Wasted time
Today pretty much just sucks. I’m working from home (thank goodness) because the tears can’t seem to stop. The sadness is heavy today. I can’t stop questioning why. Why were we able to spend so many years being so happy, going through unbelievably hard struggles together (cancer and the death of parents) and surviving them,…
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Last thing I needed first thing this morning.
It’s been exactly three months since my Joe left this world. September 22nd at 1:07am. Twelve weeks missing half of my heart. Ninety days without my soulmate. 2,160 hours lost in grief. 129,600 minutes of loneliness. Sometimes it feels like moments ago, and sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. It was over seven million…
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JJ Grey was our saving grace
Music. It’s my saving grace and it also magnifies the chink in my armor. Whenever a JJ Grey & Mofro song comes on I smile immediately. Joe found this funky mix of swamp and soul music during chemotherapy back in 2018. The song that got him hooked “This River” makes me cry, and I haven’t…
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The music that made us
On my worst days, the music is the only thing that keeps me going. Today is one of those days. I’m so grateful to Joe for introducing me to so many different genres of music. It’s funny how certain songs seem as if they were written just for us. And they follow the path of our…
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My ride or die
I was never the girl in high school who had tons of girlfriends, and I’ve never been a “girl’s night out” kind of gal. Honestly, I’ve never really had many girlfriends until I hit my 40’s. In the early 2000’s Joe and I were lucky enough to work at the same company (where I still…
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The weight of my world
Ever since Joe was diagnosed with cancer back in 2017, I wrestled with the thought of “giving it to God”. I’m kind of a control freak. And I never could completely hand my struggles over to Him. I always hung on to just enough to make me think I was still in control, when clearly…
WidowSpeak - Random thoughts after losing my husband 