Can you hear me?

I find myself talking to Joe throughout the day. The people across the street finally tore down that rickety old garage that had collapsed back on Father’s Day. I stood at the kitchen window telling Joe how glad he’d be to see it all cleaned up. When I can’t find something because he put it away, I ask him. Hoping his spirit will guide me to whatever it is I’m looking for. His road rage wells up inside of me sometimes and I’ll tell him all about the stupid driver who clearly didn’t elect for the turn signal option on their fancy new car. Of course, I tell him all about what his crazy dogs do every day. And when I see a beautiful sunrise I ask him, out loud, if he saw it too.

I’m pretty sure my neighbors think I’m certifiable, but I don’t care. It gives me so much peace to carry on a conversation with him even though he isn’t here.

One of my favorite songs is “She Talks To Angels” by the Black Crowes. I know it’s all about heroin addiction, but it’s also about loneliness and hard knocks that life hands out. I feel like this song gives me permission to talk to my angel.

I don’t find it weird to talk to Joe. The dogs think I’m a little crazy, but they love that I tell them every night before we go to bed that daddy loves them even though he can’t be here. I’ve forgotten once or twice, and they won’t climb under the covers until I say it.

I’ve always believed there are angels in our midst. And if anyone deserved his wings it would be my Joe. Even ‘our song’ came from a movie about angels, City of Angels with Meg Ryan and Nicholas Cage. Our song “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls is about being completely willing to give up everything to be with someone.

I know Joe can’t trade his immortality to be back here with me again. But I can feel him all around me, so I’m going to keep talking to him.

Do you find it comforting to speak to your lost loved ones? Or are you rushing out to ship me a strait jacket?