Taking you home

Today has been bittersweet so far. I sent Joe’s ashes off to a place called Parting Stone. They solidified his cremains into beautiful stones I can take with me wherever I go. I can place him in the flower garden in the beautiful backyard he built for us. I can leave him in New Smyrna Beach, our favorite place on earth. And I can take him with me to the new places I visit that he never got to see.

He arrived today.

The stones are absolutely perfect. Smooth and untarnished. The transformation from tiny grains to solid stone is similar to the path I’m on since losing him seven months ago. Like his ashes, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. I never imagined I could transform myself, begin to heal my broken heart and become whole again. But today I feel like I’m on my way.

Receiving him back was a beautiful moment. I didn’t curl up in the corner and lose it. I opened the box with tears in my eyes, and then I smiled as I held what’s left of him in my hands.

We walked down the aisle at our wedding to this song, and today I’ve brought my Joe home for the very last time. His love was nothing like I’d ever known. And all of that love, all of our memories are tucked safely away in my heart where they will remain, until he takes me home.