I found a sticky note under my desk pad this morning. I’d forgotten I put it there last summer with a list of all the concerts I bought tickets for. This was Joe’s 57th birthday present.

I learned quickly the very best gifts for him were anything that had to do with music. We gave each other the gift of live music many times over the years. From Sammy Hagar to James Taylor, The Eagles, Metallica, Heart. The best times always revolved around music.

We only made it through half of this list before he died. I couldn’t bring myself to go to the remaining three. But the last concert we saw together was amazing. It was Candlebox’s last headlining gig in the US, ever. Their lead singer Kevin Martin was retiring from music. How ironic that is now. I am so grateful we were there to witness it. I remember watching Joe sing along, his hand wrapped around mine tapping to the beat. I’m so grateful I have that memory of him just two days before his cardiac arrest.

In the same way we were unable to complete that concert list, I feel like we only made it halfway in life. Twenty-one years should have been forty-two. We were supposed to grow old together. We had so many plans for the future. He fought so hard to beat cancer so we could do all the things. But God had other plans for him. I accept that this is my reality now, but I’m still knocked to the ground when I find things like that pink sticky note.

I’ll leave you with my favorite Candlebox song, and then my Joe’s favorite one.

Don’t wait to do all the things. You never know when you might get left far behind.