In loving memory

Words are pouring out of me this week. It’s kind of a momentous week. My mom’s birthday was today, and the anniversary of my dad’s death is tomorrow. Two years my dad has been gone. He went on hospice the day before her birthday, but he waited until the day after to leave us. I know he did that on purpose. She never celebrated another birthday after that. Gone just eight months later, reunited with the love of her life.

The YouTube algorithm found a new song for me today. A song, and a band, I’d never heard before. But a sentiment so beautiful I had to share it.

Thanks for all you’ve done
I’ve missed you for so long
I can’t believe you’re gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I do feel my parents guiding me. They have always been the voices of reason in my head. Mom was always the neutral party, starting her advice with “well, if it were me”. Dad, on the other hand, had a much more straight-forward approach. A no nonsense advisor with practical opinions. I sure missed having them here to help me through losing my Joe.

They were the epitome of a team, and that became even more evident as they aged. I remember stopping by one day to find dad writing out the monthly checks for bills, and mom putting the stamps on the envelopes. Her arthritis had gotten so bad in her hands she could barely write anymore. They compensated for each other, carried each other daily in ways a stranger probably never would have noticed. So much so even we didn’t notice the extent of mom’s dementia until after dad passed away. Taking care of her to the very end, he covered for her because that’s what you do when you love someone. And theirs was a love affair for the ages.

I mentioned in a previous blog (https://widowspeak.blog/2024/07/24/the-house-that-built-me/) that we gathered to spread my parents ashes with all of my family. By not giving us clear direction what to do with their ashes, I believe my dad knew that is exactly what we would do.

Without my beautiful parents, I wouldn’t have this amazing family. I’m grateful for their love every day. My parents lived a full life. We were lucky to have them as long as we did well into their eighties, although it wasn’t long enough for any of us. These special days are easier to get through because I carry their love with me always.

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of the one that was so true
You were as kind as you could be
And even though you’re gone
You still mean the world to me