Category: life
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Oh October
Hello October! Last month, at the two-year mark of my husband’s passing, I decided to stop being a bystander in my own life and really start living again. My last blog chronicled the beginning of that new journey with a quick trip to our favorite beach to honor my sweet man. Not so much to…
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Better place
I hopped on a plane over the weekend and headed to our favorite beach, determined to spend the second anniversary of my husband’s death anywhere but here. I had no expectations for this trip. It was only my second time flying alone, and my first time ever staying in a hotel by myself or driving…
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Must love dogs
I rewatched one of my favorite movies over the weekend, “Must Love Dogs” with John Cusack and Diane Lane. I lived vicariously through all of her dating disasters in the safety of my living room, comfy in my chair, popcorn in hand, with one forty pound dog on my lap and one at my feet.…
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Joy and grief
I had an epiphany this weekend! Okay, well maybe I had too many jalapeno margaritas, but that’s beside the point. People have been telling me that joy and grief can coexist. I didn’t understand how. I felt like I was “doing” grief wrong. How in the world can I enjoy life without my husband? After…
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Just be yourself
I saw a post the other day on social media that said, “I will aim to be the kind of widow my husband would be proud of.” Honestly, it went all through me. My late husband Joe already was proud of me, when he was here, standing right in front of me. Proud of the…
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Learn to be still
Listening to music is something my late husband and I did every day. We spent so many evenings outside just chilling out. Him playing DJ with his eclectic musical taste, me singing along, my head resting against his shoulder, eyes closed. I knew better than to take those moments for granted. I just miss that…
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Face the river
I’m sitting here watching a river of rain run through my yard. It’s been raining for days now. My yard is saturated, unable to drain fast enough. My 1980 septic system means no shower, or laundry, or, well you get the point. But outside isn’t the only place it’s been raining this weekend. I think…
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These eyes
Time seems to be flying by at a record pace these days. My parents lived well into their eighties and both aged so very gracefully. As we get older, we expect to see progressive changes in ourselves. Our hair begins to gray, wrinkles become more prominent. This physical transformation is a beautiful reminder to embrace…
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Millionaire
Once again, the YouTube algorithm brought me a song I’d never heard before. A song I know my late husband never heard, because he would have shared it with me. I miss that. He’d send me new music to listen to almost every day. Or we’d sit in the backyard bar in the evenings and…
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Being human
I’ve always been a little awkward, especially in social settings. I think that’s why my late husband and I worked so well together. He was the outgoing one. He knew everyone. And if he didn’t know you, he would by the end of your time together. He had this uncanny ability to make you feel…
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Drowning
It’s been a rough week for no particular reason around here. The tears came at the strangest times. I had to tell my boss at one point not to look at me crooked or I might start sobbing. I decided to work from home today. It’s a beautiful day outside, so the backdoor is open,…
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Older and wiser
Several things happened this week that seem so surreal to me. First, I turned sixty-one. How in the world did that happen? Time is flying by. It seems like it was just yesterday I was writing a blog post about turning sixty and wanting to skip the month of February. And here we are again,…
WidowSpeak - Random thoughts after losing my husband 